I don't know what to do?

my wife & I have been together since I was 17 & she was 16 .I'm now 25 & have 3 wonderful kids that mean the world to me.A lot has happen bee twin us. I have done a lot of fcuk up things that she cant forget. I never been unfaithful to her & up to this day I love her very much and want to keep with our family together.she tell me that I make her fill dead inside. I feel hurt I did what ever I did & truly regret my actions.I tell her that I would do my best to change my ways & make us work our deference's . I try taking but most time end up arguing.she side she don't love me but doesn't know if she wants to spit up.I know she has given up on me. should do the same as her. I don't want to hurt my kids more then what I have already did.